Sunday, September 23, 2012

Week 3: What the hell is happening?

(German translation - this post haz it! Just scroll down ;D )

Long time no see, eh?
I really don't feel like blogging so much at the moment, I don't know why.
I wish I had interesting stuff to tell you about, but right now I spend Monday to Friday at work and since last week end I'm actually ill, so I really don't fell like going out and doing anything, i just want to lie in bad, read, or watch anime, and mostly just sleep, sleep, sleep.
It got better over the course of the week, but got worse again on Friday, so I didn't even go to a ballgame I was invited to, because a friend was playing there. I feel really bad about not going but then again, if I can't even sit or stand for more than 20min without getting a headache, I really don't want to go out.

Basic everyday look = now the same as basic "off to bed" look.

I think I'm also a bit demotivated to go out because I feel that I look really bad at the moment ^^" (well I'm sick for some time now, so....)
I don't even feel like wearing anything nice, I just throw on some jeans and a fluffy sweater each day and I'm off to work. I'm not allowed to wear make-up anyway, and I dyed my lashes recently so when I cover my invisible blond eyebrows with my fringe instead of drawing eyebrows, there's basically no reason for me to wear make-up at all *sigh* But I kinda miss it.... I somehow compensate it by painting my nails more than I usually do. I wouldn't wear my nails so long if I hadn't seen some other girls working in the lab, wearing them long as well. So I think it's okay.

It almost looks like ombre nails o_O But it's just some reddish shade that fitted my autumn-mood perfectly last week!

Haha, I always take pictures before I clean up the excess nail polish so it looks a bit weird ^^" But I like that style so much! I wanted to try it for a long time, I think it will also look very good on top of black (maybe gold-black? But I don't have any golden polish...) or white! Maybe a good look for Christmas? :D

What bugs me most right now is that I'm in absolutely no mood to look after myself properly... not just my appearance, also my health.
I sometimes don't eat just because I feel shitty and I don't want to go to the kitchen where there's the chance I'll meet someone :'D
Food at the cafeteria at the university was not that good last week either, but interestingly on Thursday they had pea soup, which was described to us as a traditional Finnish dish - and it turned out to be the exact same thing as "Erbswurstsuppe" that we know from home ^^ It was really good, though not as "creamy" as the one at home. There was even a sweet dish for dessert that went with the soup: Finnish pancakes, which tasted a lot like very thick "Topfenpalatschinke". I also tried viili this week! It's a special kind of yogurt, though they describe it to be closer to "sour milk" I really think it's more like yogurt. But the consistency and taste is different. I couldn't find natural viili so I took one with mango flavor. It was really good! I'm basically living of vegetables (salad, tomatoes etc) and dairy products when I'm at home, because I don't want to cook XD It doesn't sound so bad actually, health wise, but the looks I get from my co-tenants when they see me eating only salad for the 4th time in a row is kinda... awkward.

But it seems they have come to ignore me now anyway, so I couldn't care much less.
I am just a shy person and I don't like crowds, so I don't fell like joining in their parties. But when there was someone in the kitchen and I happened to pass by I would always have a little small talk and be nice and polite. Apparently, that's not enough for them, because for some reason they now ignore me completely, not even greeting me when I enter the room. Well, I guess I shouldn't expect anything else - after avoiding their parties they probably think I'm awkward, but I still think it's kinda rude. But anyway, I decided I won't let that drag myself down -__-v

sneak peak: I ordered some clothing as a birthday present for myself. I'll write a detailed post about it with better pictures soon!

So,  wanted to do something this week end, like some small celebration of my upcoming birthday or something, but since I'm still sick I didn't feel like going out. I thought about going for a walk and visiting the harbor, because  I have not yet been there, but it's raining now too so this option was kinda unavailable too.
I'm in such a demotivated and sad mood. I guess I miss my people at home a lot, though I really do like it here. I just can't get over the fact that it's still so many months to go before I see my boyfriend again...
This will probably be the saddest and most depressing birthday I've had in a looong time :'D But I already anticipated that and ordered myself some presents *cough*. I know I should rather save my money for more important things. Especially since it's really pointless to buy pretty clothes and then never go out wearing them ;___; But I still hope I'll have some opportunity to wear something nice. There are so many wonderful locations to take photos, I just wish I knew people here who are interested in photography and could go for a walk with them! Especially now as autumn is coming, ruska (the time when all the leaves turn orange/red/yellow, it has an own name here, it's like Hanami in Japan) will surely transform the city with its parks and gardnes into a stunning sight. I actually tried to find out if there's a local Lolita community because I thought it would be nice if they would allow me to come to a meet-up. But everytime I get a lead or somebody offers help, it's a dead end. So I guess when I'm better, I'll just dress up and go for a walk alone. Hmpf.

Right now, everything I do, every day here in Finland feels just.... strange.
Time passes by so quickly, but I feel bored most of the time, despite having a ton of ideas what I could do. At least we'll get it on at work from next week on, and I will force myself to use my free time in the office to start writing my Bac I so I can finish it as soon as possible. As for the research topic for Bac II (we have to write 2 Bachelor theses, the first is just a literature review about the theoretical part of our work, whereas the second consists of the actual research done during the internship), I know have a pretty good idea what I'll be doing there, and if I'm lucky I may be able to convince my supervisor to work with mammalian cells too. I mean, seriously, why do they have an own cleanroom when they don't even use it? At all?!

I also wanted to add somehting to my latest rant about my work.
I think I mentioned that there were some guys from this university coming to do their internship at ours. When I told one of them that we were all kinda disappointed that they were focusing so much on the material science aspect here in Turku, she said "Oh my, I could have told you that before. That was actually the reason why we went to you university!"
Ha-ha. XD Too bad.... well, if we had known before.... I don't know if I had turned down the offer. Maybe I woul have tried to find something different, but stil... after all, the work place is not that bad.
And even if other people do some awesome cancer-signalling-Nobel-price-research, I don't really think working on such a "simple" project will hurt my future career, since it's just my Bachelor's thesis. It only hurts my ego. A lot.

So, aynway. I guess that's it for now.
I justed wanted to give you a quick update, though there's not much going on right now.
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because we will start to do some actual research ^o^ It's probably gonna be quite boring data collection for 5 days, but at least we can do something! Yey!
How was your week end? I hope better then mine, because being sick really starts to bore me out! I hope I'll be better next week.
Untill then - see ya!

PS: I can totally not believe it's already three weeks that I'm here .___. This is so crazy...

~ Translation ~

Yaaaa, ich lebe noch!
Ich bin nur im Moment absolut unmotiviert zu bloggen .___. Tut mir sehr leid!
Es gibt auch überhaupt nichts spannendes aus meinem Leben zu berichten, unter anderem weil ich jetzt das zweite Wochenende in Folge krank bin und die meiste Zeit damit verbringe das Bett zu hüten -_-

Allgemein bin ich aber leider im Moment ziemlich unmotiviert.
Ich bin unmotiviert, mich noch länger mit meinen Küchen-Mitbenutzern zu sozialisieren, da diese nun dazu über gegangen sind mich zu ignorieren, offenbar weil ich ihnen als Party-Verweigerer zu verschroben bin.
Ich bin unmotiviert irgendwas kreatives zu machen, obwohl ich tausende Ideen hätte.
Ich vermisse es mich für irgendeinen Anlass, wenigstens ein mal die Woche oder so, hübsch zu machen und zu schminken und was anderes anzuziehen als Hose, Shirt und Pullover. Das ist zwar bequem und super für die Arbeit, aber auf Dauer irgendwie langweilig. Und was das Schminken angeht, so ist es mir ja bei der Arbeit sowieso verboten, und ich beschränkte mich zuweilen darauf mir wenn überhaupt die Brauen nachzuziehen und mir die Haare zu bürsten bevor ich aus dem Haus gehe.... Kontaktlinsen darf ich ja auch keine tragen, also renne ich die meiste Zeit so herum wie ich jetzt hier krank vor dem PC sitze - nur mit normaler Hose statt Jogginghose.
Das einzige worauf ich noch ab und an Lust habe ist, mir die Nägel zu lackieren, siehe Fotos oben :3

*seufz* Wenigstens kann ich mich auf die Arbeit nächste Woche freuen, denn endlich werden wir "richtig" anfangen und etwas produktives machen. Zwar nur Daten sammeln, aber es wird schon. Ich weiß jetzt endlich was ich tun werde, und habe auch schon einen Plan wie ich das, was con mir erwartet wird, umsetzen kann, und wenigstens das motiviert mich soweit dass ich Hoffnung habe, dieses Praktikum irgendwie zu überstehen. Auch habe ich mir vorgenommen den theoretischen Teil meiner Bac-Arbeit endlich zu schreiben, da ich ja schon so ziemlich alle Informationen habe und mich eigentlich nichts mehr aufhält.

Das einzig negative an der nächsten Woche: Mein Geburtstag naht heran und ich habe so überhaupt keine Lust -__- Auf gar nichts, irgendwie :'D Weil ich schon geahnt habe dass mich mein Geburtstag total runterziehen wird, hab ich mir ein paar Sachen "selbst geschenkt" (siehe Foto)... dazu aber noch mehr nächste Woche irgendwann.

Ich denke man merkt an meinem geschreibsel dass ich im Moment nicht so in Stimmung bin zu bloggen, es tut mir leid ^^" Hoffentlich gibt es bald was interessanteres zu berichten!
Was macht ihr denn so, wenn ihr total demotiviert seid?
Ich hoffe euer Wochenende war besser (aufregender XD) als meines! Bis demnächst!


  1. Wenn ich demotiviert bin, geh ich ins Bett schlafen...und hoff das es schnell aufhört :/ :P

    1. Ja, so in etwa habe ich das auch gehandhabt am letzten Wochenende XDDD


Want to comment?
If you have no google+ account, you can use Open ID (for example with an URL of your twitter, homepage etc.)
Anonymous commenting is disabled, but feel free to contact me via if you have no means of commenting here :)