Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 in Retrospective

Just a few hours left of 2012 and I am super nervous because I finally decided to go that ball I was invited to. So I might as well use the remaining time till I'll get read to write a few words about 2012 (with a few photos taken mostly from my Instagram, because I realized I did not in fact take a lot of photos with my DSLR for some reason o.O).

I will use the same questions as I did the previous years, and answer them in English. I know that some of you might be disappointed that I switched to writing in English mostly, this is probably the biggest change about my blog this year (apart from the new design). I am sorry, but this is the language of my heart and thoughts, and as long as I feel more comfortable expressing my feelings in English I probably won't switch back to German. I will provide German translations on some occasions, I guess, but as for now, I just hope the majority of interested people will not mind too much and see it as an opportunity instead of a hindrance :)

What is your predominant feeling for the upcoming year?

I guess I am excited. I am really looking forward to 2013 because so many things will happen.
I will move back to Vienna in February/March. I will graduate from the university as "Bachelor of Science in Engineering" in June. I will move to my own flat this summer together with my boyfriend, though we will have to renovate it first. My brother will get married in August ♥ I will have to decide on a Master study which I will start in October, probably I will go to the University of Vienna.
Right now I have a really positive feeling about the upcoming year, and I hope it will meet my expectations, haha.

What did you do for the very first time in 2012?

Wow, that's difficult to say. It feels like the year was so long that I don't really remember, so many things happened!
I went to Finland for the first time, merely half a year before I would move there.
I wore Circle Lenses for the first time. I wore Lolita in public for the first time. I got my first tattoo. I went to a convention for the first time. I moved to a foreign country all alone. I got a job for a period of more than 6 weeks, which previously was the longest I had ever worked (summer jobs). I experimented on make-up a lot. And I went on a freakingly huge ship to Stockholm.

What did you do again after a long time in 2012?

Well, nothing, really. I can't really think of anything special that I did.
But I spent much more time drawing than the year before.

What did you unfortunately not do at all in 2012?

I was about to say I didn't go to any concerts when I realized that I went to Emilie Autumn's show in Vienna with Jule in March. Oh what a memorably night it was, as I impaled my car in her front yard...

What's your "song of the year"?

Hard to say, because I tend to listen to music that suits my emotional state, so I listened to many different artists during the year and my "song of the moment" changed quite often. But in the end I would say it's Broken Iris' "Where Butterflies Never Die". In general, I would call them my "artists of the year".

What's your favorite CD of the year?

Didn't buy any. I would buy Broken Iris' music but I don't have iTunes and as far as I know there ar eno hard copies :<

What was your favorite book of the year?

I'd say Hunger Games 1&2 (haven't read 3 yet). I have to admit I didn't read a lot this year, but I really like the Hunger Games series.

What was your favorite movie of the year?

Probably The Avengers. I've been waiting for that movie since I saw Thor and I love it :3

What was your favorite TV show of the year?

Oh, that's tough since I watch so little TV, but I do love the humor and all the inside jokes in How I Mer Your Mother. I love that show and all the characters (which is rare because usually in the cast of a show there's at least one character I absolutely loathe, haha)

What was your videogame of the year?

Well, on third place I'd put Guild Wars 2. It was a nice game but for some reason it could not keep me as motivated as World of Warcraft used to do. Second place goes to Portal 2 which captivated me so much that I played through in roughly one day. But the best game for me was Batman - Arkham Asylum. I played it during my summer holidays, during the few days of free time I had after I finished my summer job and before I had to pack up my stuff for my move to Finland. I really loved that game, and I'm looking forward to play Arkham City soon - I already got it but I didn't find the time yet.

3 things you could have lived without:
The disappointing truth about my my internship
To be diagnosed with Hypothyoridism

Your best idea this year?

To jump in at the deep end and meet new people!
I made so many new friends just because I was a little bit more "daring" and ready to overcome my shyness. I am happy to have met Mimi and Jules at the beginning of the year, and I am glad that we have become dear friends since then ♥ I also met Vani and Jessy and Jacky for the first time this year. And just a few weeks ago I seized the chance to spend a week end in Helsinki and was able to meet Fhina and Tanja!
So the best idea was probably to be a bit more outgoing and spontaneous :)

The worst thing that happened this year?

This year was a surprisingly positive one, I am happy and content to say that nothing really bad happened. Well, except for that Hpoythoridism thing which for a short period of time left me with that fear that I might have a pituary adenoma. But I was quickly relieved of that fear after an MR scan, and as for the final diagnosis I am just glad that I know what was wrong with my body and that there's a medication for that.

Oh, and just a few days ago I realized I chipped one of my canines ;___; It really sucks because now one is longer than the other -_-

The best thing that happened this year?

That's hard to say because so many great things happened. I would say my moving to Finland. Though it meant a lot of change and being separated from my boyfriend, friends and family, it was the fulfillment of a very old dream of mine. I learned a lot about my self and others, and the experiences I made there - good and bad - are very precious to me.

I also had a great summer job in July that made me realize that in the end this is still what I want to do :)

What else is there to say about 2012?

Nothing much :)
What do you think? Did I change a lot?

Haha, as usual, when I look at the photos from the beginning of the year, I almost don't recognize myself XD
I was sick a lot during the first months of the year, so there are few nice photos ._.
Check out the collage from last year and compare! :D

I definitely blogged less than before, and I started to think a lot about what to do with this blog. It is my diary after all, so even if on one hand I want to write something interesting to read, sometimes there are just no interesting things happening.

I wore my hair in buns a lot this summer. This is probably why people who see me now feel like my hair grew half a meter while I was in Finland XD

I think I learned to appreciate myself a bit more. I begin to understand what a gigantic gap there is between the way I see myself and how other people see me, and I sometimes when I am back to hating myself, remembering this helps me to feel better. When I get compliments they still usually take me by surprise, even though blogging helped me to accept them and be thankful. The funny thing is that since I seem to be a bit more self confident now, I also get a lot more compliments in real life. I feel better, and though I still have a lot of work left to be done before I can fully love my self (physical and psychological) I feel like I made a lot of progress this year.

I learned to cope with my make-up less self a bit better.

I guess the most important thing I learned is how to cope with seemingly unbearable situations. My job made me realize again that if I am in a shitty situation, the only thing that helps is to distract myself by digging into work. I used to rely a lot on feedback of other people and their appreciation. But now I realized that I am perfectly fine as long as I am content with myself.

And I got a new motto that suits my life pretty nicely:
You don' have to work harder - work smarter.

New Year's Resolutions?

Not really any. At least nothing different from the usual: eat healthier, work out and move more. Enjoy life, every second of it. Don't turn down an opportunity out of laziness - because that worked pretty well for the second half of 2012! Don't hurt people with your words (I'm working really hard on that) but be honest and true to yourself. Don't just be yourself, be who you want to be, even if it requires a lot of hard work. I just remembered something I said a few years ago, which is still true for me:

I want to thank not only those who accept me the way I am, but also those who help me become the person I want to be.

So thank you, for your interest, feedback and understanding that you show me here on my blog in the comments, on twitter, facebook and in real life. I appreciate it. And I hope we will all have a fabulous 2013!


  1. Es ist schön zu sehen, dass du trotz der ganzen Probleme bei deinem Praktikum etc. so positiv auf das Jahr und deine Zeit in Finnland zurückblicken kannst :) Und deine Pläne für das neue Jahr hören sich toll an! Ich drück dir die Daumen, dass alles so läuft, wie du es dir vorstellst.
    Hast du vor, über dein Silvester und den Ball zu berichten? Ich würde so gerne ein Bild von deinem Outfit sehen... :D
    Liebe Grüße!

  2. I actually prefer your English entries, it's a good exercise :D

  3. also ich liebe deine englischen beiträge :D und ich kann dir nur zustimmen: ich kann mich mit der englischen sprache auch besser ausdrücken *_______* da hab ich immer das gefühl, als ob meine gefühle und meinungen besser erfasst werden als wenn ich sie auf deutsch geschrieben hätte...

    & du scheinst echt ein tolles jahr hinter dich gebracht zu haben :3

  4. Should I Comment in English now? Uh yes I should :D

    I'm really REALLY happy that we met. Even if we don't see each other that much, you're one of my best friends. At our first meeting (ui serious) we could have talked for HOURS longe (if my bf wasn't that drunk and pissed off -.-)

    Its's good to hear that you see your stay in Finand so positive <3

  5. Ich freue mich dass es auch positives Feedback zum Thema "Englische Postings" gibt, dankeschön :3

  6. Schön, dass es doch so ein positives Jahr gewesen ist....:)
    Und Selbstbewusstsein ist so eine Sache - es ist nach außen sichtbar und sorgt auch dafür, dass andere einen anders sehen, positiver...daher kommt es wohl mit den Komplimenten :)


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