Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Reality kicks in

Hello and welcome back to my normal life!

I'm back in Austria now since last Friday, and everything feels oddly normal and just as if it was never any different. As if the last 6 months had never happened and I had never been away. Yet at the same time, many things have changed. I live in Vienna now, instead of renting a room in Krems for the last semester, my last semester as a Bachelor student. I come home to this new flat and it already feels a lot like "home", yet I still sometimes feel oddly "out of place" and don't know why. I really like it here, and I love it that I share a flat with my friend Mimi and my boyfriend and one of my old flat mates from the other flat, and I like the place and the district and the fact that there's a Starbucks just around the corner. I like the fact that it's so close to the highway I only need roughly 45min by car to Krems.

 Yet there's this weird feeling of not truly "belonging" here or actually anywhere, and days pass by so fast - and yet so slow - it's just really, really weird. (And I don't expect this to get any better before summer/autumn when I finally move into my very own place)

My friend spent the last 8 months in Australia, while I spent 6 months in cold and dark Finland :D Guess whp's who on that picture  XD

Today was my second day back at university, and it was even more stupid than yesterday, where I had to take the train back from Krems to my parent's place to pick up my car. I had to wait for 1h for the train and the stupid train ticked cost me 10€, I could have paid less BUT I didn't have my stupid discount card with me, because it was of course like all the cards and stuff I didn't need in Finland still at my parent's place - where I was going to! What irony. I even asked if I could send a confirmation or anything after paying the ticket on discount, but was just told that it's not worth the effort because it would cost 7€. How stupid is that?!

I don't even want to begin to think about how it will be when I live outside Vienna but have to go to university in Vienna -_- Gonna pay myself stupid with those horrendous prices for public transport, especially since student discounts in Lower Austria are practically non existent.

The day ended with me pouring peroxide solution into my eye because I mistook it for my regular contacts solution! It hurts like fucking hell, but in retrospective it's kinda funny. I was planning to go the the ophthalmologist pretty soon anyway - maybe they'll give me an appointment sooner now?

Really needed this after that horrible day. I just hope this won't become a habit!

So yesterday was horrible, but today put a lot of effort into being even worse! I left the house at 06:50 to be in Krems before 08:00, and surprisingly I was actually even 15min early. How pleasant, I thought, I can probably pick any seat I like! So I did, but around 07:59 I was starting to feel mildly confused as the room was still almost deserted. I was wondering if my watch was wrong, but it turned out that the lecture was in fact only starting at 9am despite being from 8am on in our main schedule....
Alright, so after an hour of stupid waiting later, shortly after the presentations started and I was tinkering on my own presentation on my laptop, I checked my mails and saw that they had sent out the new Bachelor examination regulations.

And it turns out the day had another unpleasant surprise for us.
The regulations where now changed completely - in addition to an exam about pretty much the whole content of our study programme we have to present (and defend) our thesis in front of the examination committee!
I was about to cry when I read that. I really, really don't like my topic. I was hoping to finish the last experiments in the next week(s), hand in the printed version in April an never, ever have to think about that stupid pile of.....
Well, so now it seems I will have to prepare another presentation about this topic where I'm actually pretty clueless, defend my utterly pointless and methodically flawed "experiments" and then DEFEND all that when questions are answered! How awesome is that? Except for, maybe, well, not at ALL.

I am so frustrated and mad about all this....
It's bad enough that I feel like I wasted so much time these last moths, it's getting even worse now that I see all the truly interesting methods and assays that my colleagues used and learned during their studies, where as the most fancy apparatus I ever used in my internship was a spectrophotometer....
I didn't really listen to the presentations, it was just driving me crazy. I really feel like a total loser compared to what others did, and I just hope my own presentation on Thursday will go well...

Anyway, this kinda lead me to the decision that I want to try and get another summer job this year, despite the initial plan being to focus on renovating the flat, I really feel like I have to DO something, LEARN something, something actually useful, and simply gain more experience. I already have a place in mind where I wanna apply, I just hope they'll take interns for 4-6 months in summer.

So, back to basics I guess.
This blog will once again be about my life as a student with too high expectations in myself and the world, it will contain a lot of bitching and complaining. But I'm pretty sure that now that I'm back I'll also have other, nicer and more interesting things to talk about...

Well, anyways. Apart from university, I'm really okay. As soon as my presentation is over, I'll probably feel better. And Friday is gonna be really, really cool, I have some interesting plans there - but I won't tell more now :D Just wait and see!


  1. Hey willkommen zurück in der Heimat. Schön, dass du wieder da bist. :)

  2. Welcome to my world where you just learn useless shit and next to yours even my subject sounds ridiculous. My Bachelor title does even more. And truly I gotta say that I haven't really learned anything useful during the last years. The first real things I learned, I learned during the past ten months in my job.

    1. That doesn't sound good either :( Still, even if the subject of my thesis might sound nice, the whole project itself is pretty much pointless and nothing but occupational therapy. The data is worthless, especially since more work has to be done to get proper results but from what I hear no one will continue my work... anyway. But yeah, in the end I'll just be really glad when it's all over!

  3. wirst du jetzt weiterhin auf englisch bloggen?!

    1. Naja... vorerst schon. Ist mir einfach angenehmer im Moment.

  4. JA! Bitte blogge weiterhin auf englisch! :)
    Übrigens bin ich gerade überrascht darüber, wie lange ich dich schon lese, ich weiß noch, als du dich vorbereitet hattest, um nach Finnland zu gehen, und jetzt bist du schon wieder zurück. :)
    Egal worüber du schreibst, ich lese es immer ganz gerne, und sei es "bitching and complaining", was dich übrigens sympathischer macht, weil es einfach natürlich ist! :)
    Also welcome back auf deutschem (na gut, in deinem Fall österreichischem) boden! :)

    1. Hehe, vielen lieben Dank :D
      Ich muss sagen, ich bin selbst irgendwie noch immer überrascht, wenn man das so sagen kann. Kann es einfach noch nicht so ganz fassen dass ich wieder in Österreich bin - und schon in 4 Monaten Bachelorprüfung habe D: Wuah!


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