Thursday, December 25, 2014

I might have grown out of Christmas after all

Hey guys!

How was your Christmas?
In Austria, as in many other countries in Europe, we celebrate Christmas on the evening of the 24th and give presents to our loved ones. As a child, I used to love unwrapping my presents and playing with them till late at night, knowing that I can sleep long on the following holiday and play again!

Our Christmas tree this year was black-silver-white with a snowflake theme ♥ We had much too warm weather for my taste this December, so I tried to compensate the lack of snow :) The black ornaments are not seen very well but they sparkled beautifully and give the tree a very nice touch!

Now as a grown up, I somehow feel like Christmas is loosing its charm more and more. For me, it has always been a family holiday, and if I can't celebrate and see my family I feel like I'm missing something... the previous years my boyfriend and me have been celebrating on the 24th with his family and a second time with mine on the 25th! So we got to "Christmases" every year and that was one of the things I really loved! This year, my step brother and his wife invited us for the 24th so we couldn't celebrate with my boyfriends family... though we will see them on Sunday afternoon it still feels like this year was much less eventful and less "Christmas-y". I can't really handle the thought of all the excitement and preparations for Christmas and the stress during December to culminate in only a single day of celebrating, but I guess I'm just greedy? ^^" It's not about the presents though. I really wish we could spend more time together as a family. I asked my parents to come over for coffee or something to also see our Christmas tree... but they're going on vacation tomorrow and won't be able to visit. Well, at least my boyfriends family will come on the week end!

As for the 24th, we ended up being a little bit stressed, as usual. I barely managed to get myself ready in time to pick up my parents, then visit my grandma and then we already had to leave for dinner at my brother's house. I wore my newest Lolita dress, Rococo Rose from Innocent World, and did a very lazy make up and updo. The make up didn't really suit the outfit but I wanted to do some sparkly winged eye liner because it's just way faster than "dolly" make up with lashes and such. As for the hair, I am not too happy with my hair at the moment. It's dry and looks unhealthy, and the color is getting more and more peachy. My bangs look horrible 90% of the time and I didn't feel very elegant at all. So I decided to improvise a braided updo. I usually feel very uncomfortable wearing updos, perhaps a leftover trauma from my teenage years when I felt like using my hair to hide my face most of the time.

But I actually felt rather crappy as a whole lately, so it's no wonder I wasn't entirely happy with my styling. I seem to have gained weight again, and since I first notice it at my legs, I felt like my calves looked really unpleasant... but despite this, the dress is actually too loose around my waist and I'll have to alter it sometime soon. So all in all, I felt like I should have just worn a potato sack instead, lol. But my grandma loved the dress - she loves wide dresses with petticoat in general, and this print in particular - which made me very happy. I think the rest of my family thought that I look weird, at least that's what I felt. Also, my mum said she doesn't like my pink hair. She said "Even black was better than that" and she HATED my black hair ^^" Well... I guess I'll have to deal with those comments and looks as I always did.

Anyway, on to happier topics!

Cookie selection of 2014. I managed to make all but 2 of the planned types of cookies, despite work and exams in December! I was really proud of myself.

This year, everything about the celebration was a bit different. Us "kids" decided not to get anything for each other, so I just gave away the cookies I usually bring to our Christmas dinner. From our parents, we all got the same present - we're going on a "family trip" next May together, where we'll do a special sight seeing tour in Vienna. My mum also prepared a special photo cook for each of us, that contained photos from Christmas parties of the last 8 years! It's been around that time that we started this tradition of having this kind of celebration (usually on the 25th) together with my step siblings, and usually a lot of silly photos were taken every year. It was so much fun to look how everyone had changed. My sister was utterly confused by the fact that she used to have bangs sometime around 2008, I changed my hair color every year for 5 years in a row, and my brother is that kind of person who looks 10 years younger than he actually is when he shaves his beard, so we all looked almost unfamiliar in some of the photos ^^ What made me a bit sad were the many pictures of our cat that my mum included. I realized that this is the first Christmas without him and I miss him so much. If I were in mothers place, I couldn't handle it and would have adopted another cat a long time ago. The only reason I don't do it myself is that I feel that our apartment is too small for a cat, especially since it would have to stay indoors all day. It would probably get bored. My parents don't seem to want to have another pet though.... I think it would be great if they could give another pet from a shelter a home but if they don't want to, there's little I can do...

The present for my mum was a self made wind chime. During our stay in Australia with my boyfriends mum, we did a lot of pottery. I made different Australian butterflies from clay, and painted them to look realistic. Unfortunately, the colors changed a lot after firing, the black turned out to be brown, the turquoise and green vanished almost completely and yellow is barely visible. But I think it made her happy anyway.

Today, my boyfriend and me spent a lazy day at home, playing with our new "toy" just like the kids we are!


My boyfriend and I decided to buy a WiiU together so this was out present "from us to us" XD
There are two more games we wanted to get but they didn't have them anymore: Bayonetta and Hyrule Warriors. So currently we only play Super Smash Brothers, but it's a ton of fun, and I really like playing on the WiiU controller because it's so much easier too keep track of your own character on the small screen for me XD
I love the fact that you can have your Mii characters fight in the new Super Smash Brothers! XD

 The possibilities are endless, especially when you have a bunch of the most ridiculous Miis ever, like we do! XD

My only real wish for Christmas this year was Pokémon Alpha Sapphire, and I thought my boyfriend would probably get it for me because he knew - but instead he surprised me with this beautiful necklace! Ravens are like my spirit animals, I really love them (which you probably already guessed if you know the meaning of my nickname) and I was really overwhelmed by this beautiful gift. The seller actually doesn't send overseas but he contacted her and she agreed to ship it anyway so he can give it to me as a gift ♥

As for Pokémon, I just have to buy it myself after all ^^ Though I should probably wait till the end of January, as I have another three exams in the upcoming month... the thought alone makes me feel rather sick and it kinda spoils my holidays, to know that I should probably spend every free second I have studying....

Also, I have to focus on my application for this PhD program I really want to get in to. I got some really good advice for my CV and cover letter from my supervisor and now I feel like I might actually have a chance! I still don't know if it's a good idea, considering my mental state, but I honestly don't know what else to do with my life. My problems has always been that I don't have a single, super-striking and obvious talent that I'm incredibly good at, but only a bunch of things I'm fairly okay at. And when it comes to dedicating your entire life to a thing you feel like you're not actually too good at (which doesn't mean I don' enjoy it - I definitely do!!)... well, all I'm saying is I sometimes wish I were better at what I'm doing and could feel more confident about my work.

As you can see, I am spending my holidays having mixed feelings and doubts about myself - also probably because it's the end of the year soon. I will definitely write another "revue" post for the 31st and perhaps that will help me sort out my thoughts a bit.

As for Christmas, I'm a bit sad it's already over. I always feel like I might as well get rid of the tree and decorations and everything right away because my Christmas mood is dead at least after the 26th. But we'll see if it's better this year, when we celebrate with my boyfriends family on Sunday.

How have your holidays been? Did you get what you wished for?
What did your tree look like? ^^


  1. Ich dachte schon, ich sei die Einzige, der es so geht dass sie Weihnachten nicht mehr so toll findet.. .__.

    Freut mich, dass ihr euch eine Wii U geholt habt, ich find sie klasse. Viel Spaß euch damit!

    Ich wusste dieses Jahr gar nicht, was ich mir schenken lassen soll und jetzt steht für mich noch ein Geschenk aus. Aber irgendwie will mir nichts einfallen. Zum Glück kann ich mir gleich ein größeres für meinen Geburtstag mit dazu aussuchen. Selber hatte ich gar keinen Baum, sondern hab nur den bei meiner Ma geschmückt; ich wollte das mit meinen Stinkern noch nicht riskieren.

    1. Ich finde es nur schade dass es so ist, weil es eigentlich gar nichts mit Geschenken und "Kindsein" zu tun hat, dass es mir nicht mehr so viel Freude macht, sondern eher damit dass ich als Kind viel mehr noch das Gefühl hatte dass es ein Familienfest ist. Da sind die Feiern bei der Family von meinem Freund immer toll, weil da so viele Leute sind. Das deprimierendste Weihnachten war vor ein paar Jahren, als ich mit meinen Eltern alleine war D:

  2. Also ich finde dein Outfit schön von den Fotos her. Btw du hättest doch mit 2 Spangen deine Stirnfransen zur Seite klippen können ~ das hätte sicher hübsch ausgesehen ♡

    1. Das steht mir leider absolut nicht, da meine Haare dann immer oben ganz platt sind und unterhalb der spange abstehen D: Und sich das ganze sowieso relativ bald löst weil mein Haaransatz einfach so komisch ist, dass ich die quasi erst hinterm Ohr richtig wegclippen kann....
      Jaja, haarprobleme ^^"

  3. You know varis doesn't actually mean raven, it means crow. Raven is korppi in Finnish. :)

    1. Well.... to be honest I use the two words synonymously in English and German, so I do know that varis means crow but it still refers to a bird that is essentially a raven.

      The Corvus (Latin for raven) genus comprises of ravens and crows. Hence a crow is technically also a raven.
      At least in German most people don't really distinguish the two most common species around either, common ravens and hooded crows (despite their characteristic grey plumage). So essentially most people call them either "crow" or "raven" more or less synonymously...
      I can only tell from wikipedia that in Finish varikset is used for both family (corvidae) and genus name (corvus). So I suppose that's just a different approach for terminology than the German one, where the family is named "Rabenvögel" after the raven.

      Either way, while in colloquial terms, some people see the difference between hooded crows and common ravens to be the difference between crows and ravens... Corvus corax, cornix, corone... are all "corvi", ravens, in Latin, named after the type species Corvus corax.
      So... yeah, I know there's a difference between "crows" and "ravens" and that it exists in many languages, but I tend to use the words synonymously because the terms are not very clearly defined ^^ At least in German, nobody would consider it weird if you refer to a hooded crow as a raven or a common raven as a crow.

  4. Ja, Weihnachten verliert seinen Zauber mit jedem Jahr. Früher haben mir die Feiern mit der Familie (auch wenn wir Neujahr und nicht Weihnachten gefeiert haben, aber es war im Grunde das gleiche) und die Geschenke und alles viel mehr Spaß gemacht. Die letzten Jahre hatte ich zumindest noch Spaß an der Vorweihnachtszeit, aber dieses Jahr nicht einmal das. Es kommt mir einfach alles so gezwungen und unangenehm vor. Daher haben wir dieses Jahr auf großartiges Feiern verzichtet.
    Mach dir nichts draus, meine Ma hasst meine Haarfarbe auch und dabei ist die relativ langweilig im Vergleich zu deiner. Genau wie meine Klamotten, aber pfff, ist mir mittlerweile egal ^^ ich glaub, wenn es nach ihr gehen würde, hätte ich super öde braune Haare, wäre kaum geschminkt (und wenn dann nur in Naturtönen) und hätte irgendwelche Tussiklamotten :D Danke nein danke XDDD
    Sei froh, dass du so bist wie du eben bist :)
    Wir wollen auch eine Wii...irgendwas, ich mag die Spiele die ich dafür gibt (glaub ich) und hätte gerne was zum ein bisschen spielen :D
    Die Haare nach dem Blondieren sind immer so eine Sache...ich hoffe, du kriegst sie mit viel Pflege wieder hin :) die Bonbonshaare sehen toll an dir aus :)

    1. Ach, Mütter ^^
      Wir haben ein paar alte Fotos durchgesehen und ich war ja mal ne Zeit lang blond/blondiert und da meinte meine Mutter so "Da hattest du deine Naturhaarfarbe ! Das war so schön! Das solltest du wieder machen!"
      Und ich meinte darauf... "Nein Mama, das ist NICHT meine Naturhaarfarbe ^^ Wäre das meine Naturhaarfarbe würde ich es verstehen aber damit sie so aussehen müsste ich erst recht wieder regelmäßig blondieren!" XD


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