You might have noticed that I do not really post very regularly anymore. Well, the thing is, I rarely have anything to write about since I am super busy with my work and exams. I really wish I had more time for fun things in my life at the moment, but usually when I get home I am totally drained and exhausted. Honestly, I didn't even have time or energy to keep this place clean and tidy and it feels like I would need an entire week simply to catch up on sleep and get this mess in order.... I guess if I do a PhD after my Master's degree, this will only get worse?
There was exactly one fun event I attended - pretty much since Christmas, or at least my last blog entry. A friend from the local Lolita community celebrated her birthday and fortunately, my boyfriend had a day off last week end so we could both go!
The party was actually a theme party - it's carnival season here right now, so the idea was to dress up as something Fantasy- or SciFi (or fairytile and such) related. At first I wanted to dress up as white rabbit and Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland together with my boyfriend, but the lenses I wanted to wear didn't arrive, so I came up with an alternative, and we went as Little Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf :D Unfortunately I don't have any photos of my outfit :< But it was a kind of Gothic version, I wore a black dress and fishnet stockings. The hood was part of an old costume I wore when I was 13 or so - back then I was also dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood so I just customized it a little bit. For my boyfriend, I made fluffy ears and a tail, unfortunately they ended up a bit too big so many people didn't recognize the costume to be a wolf unless they saw us next to each other and realized the connection XD
This is actually my favorite lens + wig (and make up) combination. Unfortunately, the wig looks huge on my head because it currently is really difficult to handle my real hair properly. While it is much shorter than it used to be it is still difficult to pink it closely to my head and I always end up looking a bit weird with wigs. What sucks especially is the fact that all of the volume in my hair is in the lengths and tips, so without a wig I have the opposite problem that my hair looks super flat and volume-less near the scalp and super fluffy everywhere else :(
Well, anyway, I'm not too happy about my hair situation at the moment. I have terrible looking roots and the tips are looking really unhealthy. I try to give them special care with oils and conditioner, but they just won't get any better. I have no split ends, just really, really dry hair and it ends up looking really frizzy and ugly unless I don't wash it for a few days.
Cut my bangs again. Now they have a nice length, but after washing them I got a stupid wave in there :<
Also, I might have to re-dye my hair soon.
There's an event coming up that I really want to attend, but I'm not sure if I can go yet. If I do, I really want to have nice looking hair, at least color wise. That means I would have to bleach my roots and re-dye all of it, because the lengths are turnung more and more orange! The problem is, I don't have any pink dye here and if I ordered some now it probably wouldn't arrive in time. I only have Purple from Jeans Color, and I wonder if I should try to dilute it and get pastel purple. I'm a bit scared though that the ends will look brownish! Usually purple is used to neutralize an orange hue, so I'm worried about that.... also, so far I really like the pink and I would love to keep it a bit longer. Perhaps I will try to get Jeans Color in Pink and try that (it's much cheaper here than the same amount of Directions would be). Do you have any recommendations or experience with any of these colors? And do you know any good products or tricks to care for super dry hair?
Though I still have to find out if I'm actually going there or not.
Since my work has not gone especially well these past months I feel like I shouldn't got, like I don't really "deserve" to go. I also skipped an exam I wanted to take because I just couldn't handle to prepare myself well enough. I am totally exhausted and it would be nice to have a break, but there is no way to take one now with everything going wrong in my experiments. I will just have to sort it all out before I can catch a breath. I'm actually a bit scared that I will lose my job if this continues. Scared that one day my boss will tell me "If you can't get this work you don't even qualify as a Master student" and send me home :(
As you can see, I'm a bit in distress these days, not feeling to well and all that.... too many doubts about myself, my future and my choices of the past. I feel pretty much like back when I studied Physics and eventually decided to drop out, but in this case I really wanna push through and finish... but I'm just not sure that doing everything I can will be enough.
How was your year 2015 so far?
Any big plans for the next week end?
If I can, I will try to review a new pair of lenses (the ones I had planned for the white rabbit costume) with a special little "photoshooting". I hope I have some time this week end!