Saturday, April 18, 2015

Video recommendation: Cassey Ho shows you The "perfect" Body

"What would you change?"
Imagine a world where with a swipe of your hand, as easy as operating a surface tablet, or a click of your mouse, as easy as liking a status on facebook, you could change anything about your body you wanted. So what would you do?

I guess many if not most of us have had those thoughts. When a workout routine just doesn't seem to pay off as much as you'd like, or simply when you don't find the time or energy to work out at all and look at yourself and just there was an "easy way", like some kind of real life photo shop. Or when somebody points out to you that you seem to have gained some weight lately. In Austrian German, there's the probably well intended expression "Gut schaust aus!" ("Looking good" but usually associated with a light pinching of a cheek or love handle and referring to something our post-WWII generation of grandmas consider "good looking" which usually euqals "well nourished"), that can potentially shatter your good mood at a happy family reunion moment where you're wearing your new dress within seconds.

So, I came across this new video from Blogilates trainer Cassey Ho. If you've been following my blog or other social media for a while, you probably noticed that I'm one and off her training routines every once in a while. You might also know that I have some pretty serious issues with my appearance, and my self-image is not a very "healthy" one.

 Just...have a look at the video before I continue.

Cassey's video addresses the question above. "What would you change?"
But ultimately, it is more about the question "WHY would you change?" or "Why SHOULD you change?" Is it because somebody else told you that you're ugly to fat? Or because you wanna be healthy and fit?

I think Cassey is a pretty good role model on this. She might not have a six pack like other trainers, she might not have a "thigh gap", she might not have 36-23-36" measurements. But I dare ANYONE to just.... try to keep up with her work outs and then tell me again that this woman is not a completely amazing, inspiring and awesome bundle of pure energy and joy. I love her workouts not just because they are fun, but because she herself is a fun person and doing a great job to motivate her viewers, her "popsters". It is heartbreaking and absolutely devastating that people would feel the need to comment on her body in the way that the comments in this video show. Actually, the fact that people do that in general, on anyone.
Yet people do.
And they do it all the time. Everywhere.

I consider myself lucky that the only time I came across such comments online was when I found a photo of myself by reverse google search, that had been posted to some forum where people probably thought I'd never see what they'd write there. I am so, so happy that for me, the internet has always been my "safe place", where I surround myself who are positive and make me happy, because for many years of my life this was my only way to actually be happy at all. I know that experiencing cyber bullying would have destroyed me. Bullying in real life led to me to "escape" to the world wide web. If I had found bullying here as well, I wouldn't have known how to handle it.

So - back to the question "What would you change?" 
Maybe my big, crooked nose? My asymmetrical face? My teeth? My moles? My boobs? My hips? My short legs? My arms?
Honest answer - if I could change anything... I'd fucking change PEOPLE.
Like the people who bullied me in middle school. People who told me I look disgusting. People who told me I look like shit. People who made me feel like I AM shit, worthless, not deserving to be treated any better. And who, over the time, made me believe all that to an extent that I am now so broken that on some days I can barely handle getting out of bed in the morning because still, after all these years, there are voices in my head that tell me I am a disgusting monster, and eyesore on legs, that shouldn't show itself to anyone. SO broken that I can hardly take professional criticism because the minute somebody points out any flaw about me or my work I get panic attacks that they hate me and think I am disgusting and do not deserve my job. SO broken that I can't take compliments, because when somebody says something positive about me the only thing I can think of is that they must be lying to me for some reason, or that I must have deceived them terribly because in fact, I am a horrible person and disgusting being.

If I could, I would change people, so that every time they want to make a snark or mean comment about someone's appearance, or just feel the need to "share" their opinion on someone else's body without bing asked, every time they want to say something that could ruin someone, that comment just gets stuck in their throats and they don't say it. Or their fingers suddenly grow numb and they don't type it.
And then they would start to think "What if somebody said that to me?". "Why do I even care what this person looks like?" "Do I really always have to share my negative opinions?" and they would just stay put and don't or write it.
That's what I'd like to change. Because deep down I also know that no matter how much weight I lose or if I got all the plastic surgery in the world, it could never completely undo the damage that was done back then.

I think the problem is not us - the people who have a broken self image and lack the self-confidence to just shrug off any nasty comment. We shouldn't have to "toughen up." We should never have been broken in the first place.
It is the people who MAKE those remarks. The people who feel the need to impose their view on others, regarding EVERYTHING. Those who are so full of themselves that they don't seem to realize that their opinion might not, indeed should not even matter. The 1% or 5% or 10% in the crowd of thousands of comments who want to contribute to a discussion, who just want to comment on how awful they think you or your content are, who don't care about the topic constructive criticism and who can't even fathom that they might not even have been ASKED to give any criticism at all. Those who just feel like being destructive, and who trample over others and don't even give a shit. Some people might be able to shrug it off alright - others won't. And in the long run, this could destroy them.

I don't believe the media "feeds" us unrealistic images of beauty and proposes unhealthy standards. I believe that there are just too many people who trample all over other's self confidence, damaging or destroying it completely, giving them false self images and pressuring them into believing their opinion is somehow important simply by shouting it out at every occasion.
Nobody should change to adapt to anyone else's beauty standards or any kind of ideals. Instead, people should just have the decency to shut up about it if someone just doesn't meet their criteria for beauty or "perfection".

So, to end this blog post, I want to quote Thumper from Bambi once again and refer to a blog post I wrote on a similar topic a while ago:


  1. Excellent post, I would change people too, not necessarily for bullying reasons but because lately I've seen nothing but disrespectful idiots in my neighborhood - driving through stop signs, letting their dogs crap everywhere, and dumping garbage in the park pond. People suck, but this is why I don't let their opinions about my looks get me down. I'm my own worst critic for my looks at times, but I've come to accept myself. I'm still going to work out and hopefully tone my tummy, butt and legs, because I want to. I mean if you can exercise then why not just do it? I'll have to check out this woman's workouts, thanks for sharing. :)

    1. That's also something I will never understand. Vandalism or simply not picking up your trash or littering on purpose. I remember how mad it made me when kids did it in the cafeteria at school. I don't understand what motivates someone to do that....
      Me too, I don't care what people think about me superficially. I know that many people don't like my style, my own mother is mostly unhappy with my choice of hair colors for example, my whole family tries to convince me to go back to my natural hair color and "grow it out", haha. I don't care about such things, not even from people who are close to me.... But what's a real problem is that I have a really hard tome handling myself in professional environments or when I try to make new friends. I am so insecure that I take everything as a hint that they might not like me. And the truth is, I'm a person who really wants to be liked, at least by the people I like.
      Self confidence definitely has a lot to do with body image, at least for me. But usually it's something "personal" like a problem at work, that makes me so doubtful and unhappy with myself that it also kinda fires back and makes me hate my body.
      So... I think it's a really difficult topic. I will definitely continue to work out whenever I can because it really helps to just be able to say "Well, but I AM already doing something" instead of hating yourself for not being fat AND lazy, so to say.
      Thanks for your comment!

  2. That's really an important topic to talk about. I can very much relate to being bullied, as it happened to me on an almost daily basis in secondary school. Since then I've gone a long way and can at least say that I was lucky, because now I still don't like my outer appearance too much, but I've come to a point where at least I have stopped hating myself all the time (like I did back then) and just focus on things that make me happy instead.
    I think also passions like fashion and music really have helped me feel better in my own skin, because through them I can feel proud of myself in a way.

    I can also relate very well to what you said about getting positive comments. It really depends on my daily constitution, but in the past I've always thought that people are telling me that I'm doing something well, because they pity me.

    It really surprised me to see that (because my high school class had been so lacking of drama), but at college right now there are really a lot of people who still haven't grown out of being 13 year old backstabbing cunts. I've also found out that there has been some bad gossip about me - but luckily now I feel totally indifferent to people being mean, because there are things in my life that I feel proud of and that none of these people will ever be able to take away from me.

  3. Ich hatte früher in der Schule auch immer Komplexe und konnte ohne Makeup nicht raus gehen. Aber seitdem ich nur noch Menschen um mich habe, die mich nehmen, wie ich bin, hat sich mein Selbstwertgefühl deutlich gesteigert. Ich gehe ungeschminkt aus dem Haus und finde die Rettungsringe an meinem Bauch nicht mehr ganz so schlimm. Es gibt wichtigeres, als sich Gedanken über sein Äußeres zu machen.


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