Monday, June 29, 2015

There is only Darkness left here...

Hey, I'm not dead!
Just barely alive and trying to cope with all the work I have to do...

I am done finding excuses for myself for not updating my blog. These days I thought a lot about shutting it down entirely, but then I thought, there are still some pretty good memories here. Some people might stumble upon it because of some review or because they wanna find out about my studies. So I will let my blog remain active, I will just try not to be so worried because I don't have time to post....

To be honest, this will probably not change in the near future.
My life has made a 180° turn since I started working on my thesis project. 60h+ per week in the lab is the norm. I spend my week ends brain dead, doing nothing, or being soically obliged to meet someone, do something or another... in the end, there is usually no time to dress up, or even take photos of anything. So I don't really know what to talk about anymore.

★ So what really happened these past months? For those of you who are interested and don't wanna search the recent blog posts for the bits and pieces of personal information, here's a summary...

★ Well, I got this awesome thesis project that is going pretty well... so well actually that I will probably have to postpone my thesis defense to get even more data!

★ I also got accepted into the graduate school of my university of choice, meaning I'll be a PhD student from September on (this means even less free time...)

★ I got more serious about working out more and got a bike for that purpose in the beginning of May. Unfortunately I had a little surgery two weeks after that and couldn't use the bike for a few weeks after that because the wound didn't heal well. I'll probably have quite the scar but at least by now it has healed and I can go to work by bike again! We also try to go running more often again, me and my boyfriend.... the only thing I can't seem to do is stop eating so many sweets *^*

★ I got a lot of stuff from and even took pictures for a review, but later realized most of them were underexposed and super grainy... and my motivation to dress up and take them again was not very big.... sorry >_< Here's two distorted cat faces to make up for it:

★ My hair has faded from purple to purple-blue-gray...

...and then to greenish-gray D:

It looks way less awesome in real life, which is why I decided to have it cut by my friend Mimi... I hope that I will be happier again when it is a bit shorter, which means it's easier to dye and also the super dry tips, which I have been trying to rescue in vain for a few months now, won't tangle anymore...

★ One of my best friends got married ♥ I am so happy for her, I have no words. It was definitely one of the greatest, most fun events in the past months and I am so happy that I could be part of this. Best moment of the night was when she told me she had forgotten her "something blue" at home but it didn't matter, because my hair was kinda blue XD

★  In my free time, I played some computer games... we got The Witcher 3 Collector's Edition ♥ I also got Cities:Skyline in the Steam Summer Sale and ever since Fallout 4 was officially announced I started playing Fallout New Vegas... it really helps me relax after a long day at work, though in all honesty I guess I spend too much time playing ^^"

★  Oh, and there are two important upcoming events: First, I got a ticket for the Metamorphose Tea Party in Vienna! I am super excited and of course I have no idea what to wear yet XD The second event is the Apocalyptica concert... this time we got VIP tickets! I can't believe I'm actually going to meet one of my favorite bands ♥

★ Lolita related side note: There is a "Harajuku Fashion Walk" in Vienna in July. I really, really, really, really wanna go there. I already planned and outfit and ordered some more stuff that I need for it... now all that's left is to hope that I can actually go there ;__; I already missed the last two opportunities to wear Lolita and meet the guys from the comm v__v

★ And on a more personal note.... after my father kinda unexpectedly (but not really) passed away, I thought a lot about the past and what had happened between us. At first I was mad I guess, that I was deprived of my chance to make amends or try to get in touch again. Then I was really sad because the longer I kept thinking about him, the more happy memories of our time together came back. In the end, there's nothing I can do now, except trying to take it as a lesson for life... I won't let someone I care for go so easily ever again.

So, you might wonder why you should stay a reader of this blog at all, and what's to come in the future?
Well, I will try to go "back to the roots". There's a lot I really do wanna write about. More personal stuff, my opinion on different things. It's easier to write these when I don't overthink it or try to make it very elaborate with matching photos or such. I'll just post whenever I feel like it... about whatever I feel important at that time. Like back when I started this blog and used it more as a kind of "diary".

I still wanna "document" the major events in my life. Sometimes this is difficult because there are many people in my life whom I care for and I don't wanna disclose too much of their personal information or even post photos of them here. I will try my best to collect these memories here without involving them too much or going too much into depth.

In the end, like I said, I won't make any promises anymore... as the kind of person who doesn't even manage to keep promises to themselves, I am sick of that. I am struggling with life as it is anyway, and I just don't want my blog to be another "concern" or just a point on my seemingly never ending to-do list... I don't want unhappy feelings to be related to my blog. Because this is supposed to be my "happy place", right?
Anyway. If you feel like you want to talk outside of my blog and we aren't already in touch, feel free to add me on twitter - it's probably the easiest way to reach me these days.

So, I guess that's it!
See you next time - hopefully soon!

PS: I guess this entry was initially intended to be much more deep and personal... hence the gloomy title. But I feel like I should talk about this at another opportunity. I'm just to tired to figure out how to write down more of my feelings right now.


  1. Ich hab mich ehrlich erschrocken als du geschrieben hast dass du drüber nachdenkst, den Blog zu schließen. Du warst eine der ersten, deren Blog ich regelmäßig gelesen habe und du gehörst immernoch zu meinen Favoriten. <3 mach dir keinen Kopf ums bloggen. Du kannst ja schreiben so oft oder so selten wie du magst. Es ist schön zu hören dass es in deinem Leben vorwärts geht. Mir kommt es manchmal so vor als wärst du eine alte Freundin die weit weg wohnt und als wären deine Blogeinträge Briefe. Ein schönes Gefühl. Bitte hör damit nicht auf, und wenn es nur einen Post im Jahr gibt. Du bist erfrischend anders als viele andere Blogger und auch Menschen generell. Ich würd das ehrlich vermissen. Fühl dich gedrückt! 💜

  2. NEEEEEIN! Nicht aufhören! Aber ich verstehe gut was du meinst. Auch mir fällt es in letzter Zeit sehr schwer etwas zu schreiben. Auch bei mir ist es die Zeit die mir fehlt. Ich habe so viel um die Ohren. Auch ich würde gerne mal wieder einen persönlichen Artikel schreiben und mir ein paar Sachen von der Seele "tippen". Ich kann dich da wirklich nur zu gut verstehen. Was ich aber auch sagen kann ist, dass dein Blog einer der wenigen ist, den ich lese. Vermutlich weil wir ein paar Probleme teilen und ich dann weiß, dass ich mit so manchen Dingen nicht alleine bin auf dieser Welt. Schreib einfach dann wenn dein Herz es dir sagt und sei nicht traurig, wenn es mal nicht dazu kommt. Liebe Grüße von der anderen Seite des Berges. ;)

  3. Hey, ich fände es auch sehr schade, wenn Du den Blog schließt! Mir gefallen Deine Einträge, ganz egal wie oft oder selten Du etwas Neues schreibst. Ich schaue gern hier vorbei, lese die niedergeschriebenen Gedanken, schau mir die Bilder an und bewundere Deinen Stil. Bloggen sollte doch Spaß machen, oder? Also lass Dir Zeit und schreib nur wenn Dir danach ist. Wie gesagt, ich würde mich freuen, wenn Du den Blog weiter führst. Und ich wette, dass es noch mehr Leuten so geht. LG Tea

  4. Bitte schließe den Blog nicht, ich liebe ihn! Du schreibst so viel und toll vor allem. Das wäre zu schade. Ich wünsche dir viel Kraft wegen deines Vaters. Sowas ist schwer und ich kenne das zu gut... halt dein schönes Köpfchen aufwärts <3
    Deine Haare sehen toll aus *_*

  5. Jetzt hab ich mich doch erst ein wenig erschrocken...mach dir bitte keinen Kopf darum, wann und wie viel du blogst ;) das ist ganz alleine deine Sache!
    Ich persönlich freu mich immer diebisch wenn ich was von dir lese und höre, die Vorfreude sammelt sich höchstens bis unter den Haaransatz wenn ich mal länger nichts sehe ;) lass den Blog nicht zu einer Verpflichtung werden, er soll dir Spaß machen :)

    Halt deine Ohren steif und ich wünsche dir ganz viel Kraft und Kekse und Kuschelhaie und weiß der Geier was sonst noch so helfen könnte!Für egal was kam und kommt, du bekommst das hin!
    Auf das Apocalyptica Konzi bin ich übrigens gaaaaaaanz dezent neidisch und wünsch dir n Sack voll Spaß mit den Jungs!(Rock für mich mit ;D)

    Fühl dich gedrückt und lass dich nicht unterkriegen <3

  6. Ich bleibe auf jeden Fall Leser deines Blogs. Du solltest dir keine Gedanken darüber machen, wie oft du blogst. Es soll ja immer noch Spaß machen., Wenn du gerade keine zeit hast, oder dir nichts einfällt, dann bleibt der Blog halt still.
    ich mag deine Beiträge immer sehr gerne. Auch die textlastigen!


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